Find Him in each and every moment, in each and every thought. There truly is a silver lining in all circumstances. I find as I take time to ask Him “what are you doing in this situation? Give me the words you want said, lead my every step”, that He leads my very thoughts. He is not asking us to stand straight, to do all of the work, or to figure it all out. He is asking us to kneel, to position ourselves in a stance of complete surrender. As we breathe Him in, he coats our every cell to respond as one body. He literally puts our entire being into alignment.
He orients me in this way, beginning with thankfulness. As I find Him each time, a soft “thank you” escapes under my breath. I’ve begun to find Him everywhere, for He is not bound only by the “good” things we experience, He can be found working through the middle of the night for us. I see the extra hours He puts in on my behalf.
The thankfulness pulls me into humility, as I’ve come to realize just how small I am, even in influencing my own outcome. He seems to save the best wine for me, waiting for me to join Him to drink it. I’m just a homeless orphan who stumbled into the party, yet He knows me differently, as if I was His very offspring. He gives me a seat at the center table, and has a special chair brought in for me. But I know what I am without this master, nothing but an orphan who wanders the streets in search of warmth. Humility follows thankfulness. Enter stage right: Joy. Joy leaps across the picture with an overwhelming presence, stealing the attention of all. Joy comes when the reality of the gift sets in. When the orphan is handed a birth certificate with his new name printed in bold across the top left; Son. Up until this point it was just a dream. Up until this point life was comprised of only digging through trash cans for sustenance, scrounging for our hunger to be taken from us, 2 sips of clean water would have meant at least 2 more days of life. But what does this now mean, I am in His house, not as guest, or as stranger, but as Son? Joy is unshakeable. It sweeps in when you know where you came from, and who you are without Him. When you actually witness Him working out all the details, and when He presents you with your new name. All you actually have to do, is relinquish your old name; Orphan.
I see so many around me walking around on a beach with a bit of water in their hands. They have their hands in the form of a bowl and are hoping they won’t trip. The water of life is what they grasp and they are hoping it won’t drip away from their hands. They are so careful to do everything just right, trying to take the water in their palms to people far from the beach… But I found the source, I found the secret… But it leaves no chance of standing after He has had His way with you. Kneel, with palms up and eyes closed, then face the ocean. Because that is all the signal He needs to send it; a tidal wave 100 feet tall. Anyone still wondering if I’ll get wet? I actually can’t seem to dry off. The secret is in getting your knees sandy.
Spiritual growth is this way. It is not about what you achieve, or what steps you take. It is not about what things you overcome or circumstances you’re now stronger than. It is not about what you can now go through without being stressed, angry or depressed. It is all about how you position yourself to Him. He is looking for people who are looking for His glory. He is quite the showman you know… And He is waiting for us to set the stage for Him. We are not the lead role. The show does not depend on if we remember our lines or catch our cues. We are the little girl at the beginning who is playing with a muddy doll in the street. We are here to set the stage. I have watched in my own life how He is waiting for me to set the stage. A stage that needs a hero bigger than me, a story that is bigger than the child at the beginning. Ever wonder why things you plan fail? Maybe they weren’t your lines to recite. If you take His part, you will never sell out the auditorium.
I catch myself being swept away by my showman. He is such a charmer and a show off, but dang He is so good at it. I feel like Alice from Alice and Wonderland. I see how my curiosity leads me further into the rabbit hole. He beckons me further into each room. I find myself completely captivated by each and every experience He brings me, each person I meet, each view I see, each word I hear and each breath I take. My entire soul proclaims, moment by moment, a resounding “thank you.” It is this appreciation that He has given me that causes Him to call me into each room, into the next scene. My excitement makes Him excited to excite me further! It is a cycle that will only plunge us into ecstasy.
The key to spiritual growth or maturity is not achievement or steps, it is positioning yourself in worship. Worship is our entire reason for existence. I cannot work towards Him and I cannot figure Him out, I can only stand in awe of Him. I sit on the front row of His theatre, I follow Him in full sprint down the rabbit hole, always tingling with excitement at what He will do next. But I must train my eyes to see Him in everything, like an Olympic judge knows each and every move of national champions of the ice rink. I train my eyes to see His every move, seeing everything He is doing, finding Him in everything, because then He really starts to show off.
Put simply, the only “steps” we can take to spiritual maturity, is opening our eyes. So I now just ask Him, “will you show me what you’re doing here my Lord? Will you help me watch your every twist with a childish shriek of laughter? I can’t wait to see what you’ll do next, my Beloved.”